senandung kedua

Hari demi hari,bulan demi bulan,tahun demi tahun,perasaan Markisa terhadap sang unsung tidak pernah pudar walaupun dia sentiasa ditemani oleh lelaki lain.Markisa sayang pada lelaki tersebut,tapi cintanya hanya untuk sang unsung tersebut.Dalam masa yang sama hatinya juga sentiasa teringatkan cinta pertamanya,kerana baginya cinta pertamanya sangat istimewa dan sangat sukar dilupakan.Cinta pertamanya mula berputik semasa dia masih lagi di bangku sekolah rendah.Pelbagai dugaan yang terpaksa dihadapi oleh mereka,kerana jejaka tersebut digilai ramai gadis kerana paras rupanya yang sangat comel.Tetapi,Markisa mencintai lelaki tersebut bukan kerana paras rupanya yang comel,tetapi sikapnya dan hobi mereka yang serupa.Mereka banyak berkongsi pengalaman dan minat bersama.Melalui semua itulah cinta di antara mereka mula mekar dan terus mekar.Namun,banyak perkara yang terjadi yang menguji kesabaran Markisa terhadap jejaka tersebut.Terutamanya apabila dia terpaksa berhadapan dengan gadis-gadis lain yang cuba merampas jejaka tersebut.Walaupun jejeka itu berlaku curang,namun dia tetap tabah dan sabar menghadapinya kerana Markisa bukanya orang yang jenis mudah berputus asa.Tambahan lagi,jejaka tersebut sangat memerlukannya.Markisa juga sedar bahawa dia tidak akan dapat meneruskan hidupnya tanpa jejaka tersebut.Tetapi,akhirnya cinta mereka berakhir juga kerana kehadiran dua orang betina yang sangat menjijikan.Hubugan mereka berakhir ketika Markisa berada di tingkatan4. Ketika itu hati Markisa seperti permata yang tercampak di lautan dan tidak akan kembali ke daratan.Jejaka yang dicintai telah meniduri dua orang betina tanpa menghiraukan hati dan perasaan Markisa terhadapnya.Bertambah parah apabila dua orang betina tersebut terus dan terus menghina Markisa.Peritnya apa yang Markisa terpaksa lalui.Setiap hari hidupnya dihiasi air mata di pipi.Setiap hari hidupnya diburu bayangan jejaka tersebut.Setiap hari hatinya menanggung gelora rindu yang mendalam terhadap jejaka tersebut.Setiap hari hatinya menanggung derita kerana teringat-ingat panahan kata-kata hina yang dilemparkan oleh kedua orang betina tersebut kepada Markisa.Hati Markisa terguris,tercalar dan bermula dari situlah Markisa kehilangan keyakinan dirinya dan terus mengutuk dirinya sendiri.Adakah Markisa akan mencintai lelaki lain?Adakah cinta Markisa akan kekal berpaut pada jejaka tersebut iaitu Ashraff?Bagaimana pula cinta Markisa terhadap Sang unsung tersebut iaitu safwan?Dan siapakah lelaki seterusnya yang bakal muncul dalam hidup Markisa untuk merawat lukanya?Adakah lelaki tersebut berjaya menakluki hati Markisa?

senandung pertama

Cantik wajahnya jika ditenung,Sejuk hatiku memandang senyumannya yang sangat manis dan menarik.Hati aku begetar sungguh kencang sebaik sahaja dia lalu dan menyapaku.Aku tidak mampu melawan perasaan ini.Perasaan ini sudah pun mengawal diriku.Perasaan ini sudah lama mencengkam jiwaku.aku tahu siapa dia.Aku tahu dia bagaimana.tapi aku tidak sekali dapat melawan perasaan ini terhadapnya.Aku mempunyai insan lain dalam hidupku.Tetapi perasaan aku,hatiku hanya terpaut pada dia seorang.Jauh di sudut hatiku,meronta-ronta mahu memilikinya.Aku tidak obses padanya,tidak sama sekali walaupun aku sedar bahawa aku pada mulanya terpikat dengan keindahan wajahnya.aku benar-benar mencintainya.Bertahun-tahun aku menyimpan perasaan ini.Sungguh sakit,sungguh menyiksakan,apabila tidak dapat diluahkan.Sungguh melukakan apabila aku terpaksa berlakon di hadapanya seperti tiada apa-apa di antara aku dengannya.Bertambah sakit apabila mengetahui dia sangat mencintai gadis lain.Sangat menyiksakn apabila melihat dia bersama gadis lain,memeluk,membelai,mencium gadis tersebut.Hatiku memberontak dan meronta-ronta kerana terlalu cemburu.Namun,tidak disangkakan sang usung tersebut telah dilukai dengan parahnya oleh gadis yang dia cintai.Sangat teruk dan sangat tragis apa yang dilalui oleh sang unsung tersebut.Dia seperti kehilangan arah tujuan hidup,Hidupnya hanya dalam kegelapan,dia telah merosakan dirinya dan mula terjebak dengan kegiatan negative.Hatinya hancur berkecai seperti kaca yang terhempas.Pelajaranya terganggu,emosinya tidak menetu,jiwanya yang sakit tidak dapat dikawal.sehinggakan dia terpaksa hidup dengan ubat-ubatan,dijaga dan dirawat seperti orang ssakit jiwa.penyakit yang dihadapinya juga bertambah teruk dan parah.semangat tinggi yang dia miliki sudah hilang.ini semua hanya kerana cinta.dia gila sebab cinta.dia rosak sebab cinta.dia miskin sebab cinta.dia tandus sebab cinta.hidupnya musnah sebab cinta.semangatnya hilang sebab cinta.dia sakit sebab cinta.kenapa gadis tersebut sanggup melukai hatinya seperti menikam tombak yang tajam dihatinya?kenapa?apa lagi yang tidak cukup.sang unsung itu mencintainya lebih dari segalanya.adakah hanya kerana terlau materialistic,dia sannggup berbuat demikian?di mana kejujuran cinta?di mana perasaan belas kasihan?di mana?kenapa begitu kejam dilalukannya?Ya Allah,sakitnya hatiku menanggung kesedihan,keperitan yang ditanggung sang unsung yang sangat ku cintai.dia yang terluka,tapi aku yang merasa,dia yang menderita,tapi aku yang kesakitan,hari-hari aku menangis,dan bertanya kenapa harus dia menanggung kesakitan itu?sedangkan dia tidak layak menerima kesakitan tersebut.Jika diberi peluang ingin sekali aku menjadi penawar lukanya,ingin sekali aku membawa keajaiban dalam hidupnya,ingin sekali aku membawa kebahagiaan yang sebenar dalam hidupnya.Aku tidak mahu melihat dia kecewa dan menderita lagi.Aku mahu mengubah hidupnya,mengembalikan semangatnya yang telah hilang.Menjadi teman hidupnya adalah keinginan aku sekarang.Adakah semua ini akan terjadi walaupun aku sekarang didampingi insan lain?

i wanna watch dis!!!!

Bella Swan has always been a little bit different, never caring about fitting in with the trendy girls at her Phoenix high school. When her mother re-marries and sends Bella to live with her father in the rainy little town of Forks, Washington, she doesn't expect much of anything to change. Then she meets the mysterious and dazzlingly beautiful Edward Cullen, a boy unlike any she's ever met. Edward is a vampire, but he doesn't have fangs and his family is unique in that they choose not to drink human blood. Intelligent and witty, Edward sees straight into Bella's soul. Soon, they are swept up in a passionate, thrilling and unorthodox romance. To Edward, Bella is what he has waited 90 years for -- a soul mate. But the closer they get, the more Edward must struggle to resist the primal pull of her scent, which could send him into an uncontrollable frenzy. But what will Edward & Bella do when a clan of new vampires -- James, Laurent and Victoria -- come to town and threaten to disrupt their way of life?

admire..like...miss...crush...share...love

Admire…like…miss….crush…share…love…

Wat is actuAlly the best meaning for those words?? Wat is it for?? Is it important n is it happen in our life… wat bout u efy?? Have experiece that kinds of feelings?? I think that everyone of us really experience this kinds of feelings..

Admire

Of course yes….especially base on his appearance n his attitude…if it is cute for me n reallly can attract me,then I’ll admire at him…but not for too long of course…especially when I’ve already have my own boyfrenzzz… n he is ok for me…wat kind if boy that can attract u efy??

Ermm…actually I like the guys that have dark skin n have noty appearance…no laki jambu…plizzz k...but I like de guy that reallly care of his own clean…n fragrance…eh…efy ske laki sakai kn?tnye ain…a’ah…agak laa..hehehe..but sometime i like the guy that is so proud….but sometime I like the guys that can olwez makes me laugh all the time….hahaha…depend on my mood laa..i hate stingy n greedy n selfish guys..hahaha

Like

Emmm…wat can make me like him?if he knows how to tackle me… not just being gentlemen laa…but if he knows how to stealll my heart..hehehe.. I like him when he olwez telling joke for me…n be wif me sometime… I mean spending his times wif me..lalalalalalala…. do u think dis will lead u to fall in love wif him..?? ermm not reallly…

Misss..

Hahaha… when I suddenly realize ded I miss the person that I like?? When he’s not around,I’ll feel sumtin different n keep thinking bout him…hak2...is it the way or first move to fall in love wif him?? Ermmm… I think so…maybe… but honestly… I always miss my frenzzz da most laaaa…..besides my family…if I do have a boyfrenz n we live far apart?i really love ded coz missing is beter then spending all the time wif him for me…less talk,less date much2 beter for me…let the feeling control me then feeling so bored..honestly…that is me when I’m in love… idun like to see my bf too much…

hahahAa

crush

my god,I think I can detect dis when I get near to one guys that I know…then my hands or my legs keep shaking… I begin to act different in front of him…shy2…scared…yeah… I experienced this before…n there was one time when I’m de one who confess my feelings to him…a long time ago la..luckily..he’s also in love in me…so ok laa…but its not too long coz I dun think its really true love…yeah…we still like a kid at that time…n rite now?? I felt that…but I kept hiding it… n fight to ignore it…coz I’m scared it will bring trouble for me… n if someONE crush on u efy??? I’ll try my best juz wanna make him hate me… huhuhu…coz y?? wat bout if I can’t accept him…I rather make him hate me then rejected him juz like ded…but,actually I olwez do that.. I didn’t mean that.. I swear..its juz bcoz I can’t force myself to fall in love wif u…n if he is my frenz… he might lose me forever if he confess it to me.. I’ll live him…not coz I hate him or wat..its juz bcoz I dun wanna hurt him anymore… n for me by ded way I can make him forget about me…yeah.. I think ded is da best way…eventhough he might hurt coz of mme….sorry guys!!!

Share

Of coz sharing the feeling,problem.interest..

Love..

Love seem to be the most sweetest words in the worlds n for me it is the most hardest words to speak out..n its really hard to express it especially when someone ask me whether I love him or not… I really can’t say it untill I’m really sure that I really loves him…n I’ll never say it again n again…once its enough for me…n if he ask me?? I’ll suddenly get angry to him..hahaha…coz I think ded he doesn’t believe in me..so stupid.. eventhough I do have boyfren n he keep saying I love u so much efy… I really can’t reply it…that is me when I’m in relationship..love is not just a love for me…but it is about where the guys can show his responsible to me,protect me,understand me..that is the real action to show that he is really care bout me… n for him I’m so important to him…yeah,SHARING IS CARING N CARING IS LOVING,really understand that…but It cannot be shown juz only when he ask..efy mkn xlg?efy chat? Anybody can do it rite…but dis is when he always be there whenever the girls need him or wanna share something wif him..n when she is sick.come n taking care of her coz she really deserve that…hahaha…itz like korean drama…but,actually its not easy for me to find that kinds of guys…seriously,I juz experienced it once in my life..wif my 1^st love…eventhough I knew he’s so noty n play around,but he really care of me without saying any sweeet words to me..he just express it from his action..n coz of ded.. I really love him at that time…he’s so different then the others…to build a love nest for me the most important element for me is RESPONSIBLE.yeah….everyone thinks that being honest,loyal n caring is the most important…but for my own perspective I think that from responsible..then I’ll sure the guys can be honest,loyal n caring to the girl..

Efy…wat will u do if suddenly if u find out that ur bf have another girl around him?

Honestly..i’ll let him go..everytime..i’m in a relationship..i keep telling my bf..if u have another girl in ur life..the juz go to her…but plz leave me…n forget everything bout me..let me go…n dun u ever try to turn back to me..even u had regret it… for me..i’ll do anything for him..i juz let him go as long as he’ll be hapy..then I’ll be fine…I won’t be too sad but I just feel that I’ve lot of weakness n that is the reason why he find another girl. I won’t blame him of coz…but I’ll blame myself especiallly when the girl is much beter then me…huehuehue…if the girl is bad then me…I’ll advice to him..not coz I’m jealous or wanna have him…but I just think bout his future n I’m scared that the girl dump n dump him one day??it hurt me so bad if he’s sad n dissapointed..huhue..efy caring x?? no laa…for me,... I always said to him lantak p la nk jd pa pown…who cares?? Hua…cruel rite…but I’ll always do anything as long as he’s hapy n safe…sometimes..i’ll be the most stupid person n blind when I wanna do something to him…I juz wanna prove to him that I love him…that’s all..but if he can’t see it or can’t feel it…then It will hurt me so bad…..i really hate when the guys think that ONLY SEX can prove the love.fuck that!! Love easy to get but true love?????

ngehehe...simpng siur pasal effy..

Effy…badut…blemoeh..comot…serabut…puffy mice…tombam…wat else they can call me??? hahaha…wat id actually her name huh?? Ermm..her japanese name is hanashiro yanakura..eeeee..perasan…ermmm..actually nurul afifah binti azlan is exactly her name…n she was born on 2^nd of july 1990…she’s cancerian,horse..hahah..ermm.. she’s juz a simple girl but really emotional n complicated..she’s love to eat..eat n eat…explore something new..solat,al Quran,knowledge n love is her soul n life..but music is like her internal organ..hehehe… she’s love so many kinds of music..language n even style..hua2..ermm..she’s so stuborn n sometimes hot tempered,selfish…maybe…ermm… she’s doesn’t like being under control too much..she’s loves being free n sometimes she needs to be all alone…sometimes she needs frenzzzzz n vacation…huahuaa..her vitamin is chocholate…hot chocolate ,sweets,lolipop..nescefe…n watsoever…hehehe… she loves animal…yeah..but she hates kucing jantan.. n cicak n lipas…she loves wildlife..hehehe… ermm..she loves explore something new…something different…something weird…she rathers take the risks juz 4 it..dun try to challenge her aaaa…eventhough its hard for her,but she’ll try da best for it…that is her…hua…. She’s really wanna be an english teacher,but if she can’t she wanna be a kindergarten teacher,,,,yeah she loves kids….but at the same time,she wanna be a good listener n advicer…hope so…psychology for the minor…her dreamzz?? To many lorh… but one of it is…going for pilgrimage with her parents…she wanna pa for that…huhuhu…then she wanna have her own mini cooper n beetle…hhehehe…I want that!!!! So’I’ll try my best for that…insyaAllah…dreamzz husband?? The owner of chocolate factory…moms said that tooooo…hahaha…my dreamzz vacation?in malaysia?sabah n sarawak…luar?new zealand,australia,n many more…hehehe…

Wat kinds of movie?? 1^st of all anything n everything from disney’s…then…LOTR resident evil.. n many more..then..tv shows?disney’s,charmed,travel n living of course..hahaha..ermm wat else haa?? Wat kinds of food…nasik ayam…laksa..tomyam n many more..drink?? limau aess…laicy.chocolate,nescefe..hehehe…my fav colour?? Black,red,white,pink,purple..n I I think I start to fall in love wif green colour..hua…my idol?? Fatimah az zahra.. n my moms.. of coz…my fav arist,actress.the troublesome of coz..hua…love lindsay lohan,paris hilton,agnes monica n many more…lastly,nothing